I’ve handed in my notice. I’m going home.
This may come as a surprise to many of you considering that I only started working about 8 months ago…but it wasn’t because my job was so horrible that it impacted my decision to leave. Ok, it did impact my decision a lot, but not in the way that you think.
I don’t blog too much about my personal life, but feel it’s only fair that I’m honest in sharing the various factors that have led to my decision to leave the UK. Many of you know from reading my blog, that I moved to the UK because my SO lived here. We didn’t feel that being in a long distance relationship could accurately depict real life and needed to be together to see if their was a future…but sadly there was not. Things quickly took a turn for the worst yet there was a lot of denial about it on both our ends. It’s hard to leave a situation when you’ve just moved 5000 miles and left all your family, friends and career behind. I was a wreck and emotionally and physically crumbling as my self confidence was being dismantled at both ends…at home and at work by my then supervisor.
When the relationship ended, I took some time to think about what I wanted to do. I moved out and decided that I would stay on a little while longer considering that I put so much time, effort, energy and money into moving here. I wanted to experience my life in the UK as a single woman and not have any regrets. Which is exactly what I did…and I have had the time of my life (cue the song!).
Over time I did begin to realize that I felt so restricted in this country. I was in a job that was shaving years off my life which just wasn’t worth it; I didn’t have a car and didn’t have the finances to buy one; I had so many aspirations for my career which I had put on hold when I moved here…and I was only limited to a certain sector of social work in this country. Also, as I’m getting older…I’ve realized that I just don’t want to rent a room anymore…I’ve had enough of moving around and feeling unsettled. I just want to feel established and settled in my own home. I have felt that my life has been on hold for sometime. And of course, I also missed my friends and family…these are all the factors that have led to my decision to go back home.
I didn’t make the decision lightly and I was a ball of tears when I told my manager. I still haven’t told my team because I just can’t handle all the questions I will get, but I will tell them soon. Since becoming single and moving out, which was around the same time my bully supervisor left, I have to say that I have never been happier. I have come to love the team that I work with and I have made some incredible friends who will be my friends for life. My manager was incredibly supportive and understanding of my decision to leave as she has been aware of my personal struggles since I have been here. I really struggled with when I was going to leave because many of my children are well on their way to being adopted and I just didn’t want to miss any of it!!! How could I leave them?? How will they cope with the transition to their new adoptive placement AND the loss of their social worker?? But…I just had to my put myself first and know that my kids would be just fine…
It still makes me feel really sad to think about it…but I have only a few months left here and I know time is going to fly…I have so much to do at work and I have to think about all the logistics of the move as well…but of course…I will make sure that I make time for a lot of fun in between…